Bruce D Schneider's Blog

Once a Coach, Always a Coach

At iPEC, we believe that coaches should walk the talk. That means that they should live the process they espouse, and not just from time to time… as a lifestyle. We train people to BE coaches, not just to DO coaching.

Think about this: if you were a therapist and you walked into your video store and began a conversation with a familiar clerk, would you do therapy? Of course not. If you were a carpenter would you shore up the counters before you left? Not a chance. But if you were a Core Energy Coach (iPEC’s coaching system), you’d be a coach 24/7, and with everyone in your life. In other words, coaching, being a system that allows you to fully be who you are, forms a framework for every conversation or interaction you ever have.

After people take our training, I often hear them remark that they aren’t sure how they survived in their lives without the Core Energy Coaching training. The skills, tools, techniques, and methodology are great, but more important is the entire philosophical approach that grounds people in a way to see themselves, the world around them, and the people in their world.

I’ve been a therapist, consultant, mentor, sports coach, and more, and yet, all those were things I did. A coach is who I am. And a coach is who I will always be.

Conscious Choice: True Freedom and the Power it Holds

The subject of freedom seems to be an appropriate one for this Fourth of July holiday. After all, the freedom to make choices is one of the things that the founders of this country had in mind when they drafted the Declaration of Independence.  We are very fortunate indeed to live in a nation dedicated to maintaining our rights of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

One of iPEC’s foundation principles states that “The greatest freedom is the freedom of choice.”  There is a great deal of power in knowing that you always have a choice – but most people don’t recognize all the options that they have. As coaches, we give the gift of freedom to others when we help them learn to make conscious choices – choices that are made without fear, doubt, and other catabolic energy.

This July 4th, take a moment to express your gratitude that you live in a country that allows you the freedom, and the right, to choose how you want to experience your life.

PS> Join us on July 17th in New York for the Power of Choice -- a transformational workshop that reveals the 7 Levels of Energy and exactly how they impact your choices! 

Why is engagement the most important factor in life and business today?

Getting engaged, lately?

I've found that one of the biggest challenges to most people's level of enjoyment on the job or in a relationship is whether or not they are fully engaged in what they are doing. So many people are just going through the motions, particularly at work, to the point that they are in a state of "have to" instead of "want to." The result? A disconnection between who they are and what they do.

Disengagement from any aspect of life causes stress, at best, or at the extreme, apathy. This challenge is so prevalent that many studies cite disengagement at work as THE top block to productivity and the main cause for attrition.

So how do you get engaged? Well, for starters, I've always found that my clients felt more engaged when they knew that their contribution was appreciated and meant something. Instead of guessing, I've requested that people actually ask how they are doing. Few people offer accolades without prompting, and unfortunately, instead of this, most people are quicker to focus on and point out what's wrong. So if you don't ask, you may never get what you are looking for to feel valued and know what you are doing matters.

That said, ultimately, you value doesn't need to be given to you by others. Recognize that whatever you do is your choice, and how you do it is also your choice. Give fully on the job, and at home, and you'll be able to pat yourself on the back and feel great about your contribution.

Why did you create iPEC?

People often ask me why I founded the iPEC organization, and my answer usually surprises them, as I had no intention of creating a coaching school. In fact, all I wanted was a group of coaches to help me continue my mission of raising world consciousness, one person at a time.

Like many entrepreneurs, I knew that I couldn’t and shouldn't try to do everything and be everything to everyone. I knew that I had an amazing coaching process (the Core Energy Coaching process), that was getting tremendous success for clients, much better than the successes I was able to help people get through therapy, consulting, or mentoring. It took me decades to create the Core Energy Coaching process, and knowing that I had something very, very special, I wanted to expand it, and yet, I was only one person.

So my idea was to send prospective coaches to, at that time, one of the few coach training programs available, and then, I'd add my process to the "basics" and move forward with my dream team--a powerful coaching group.

To make a very long story short, all my research told me none of the existing training programs met my standards. Those school's "basics" were not nearly enough, and so even though I originally planned to augment an existing training for those I wanted to become part of my team, I soon realized that 90% of what I wanted them to learn was missing. So I decided to formalize my system and create iPEC as a coach training program. That was about 10 years ago, and, as most people now know, iPEC is recognized as one of, if not, the world's most prestigious coaching programs.

iPEC took on a life of its own and exploded around the country, not really allowing me the time to develop the group I wanted. Since graduating thousands of coaches, my initial dream has come as least partially true, though, as so many gifted people from all walks of life are now using the Core Energy Coaching process to share their unique gifts and make a huge difference in the world on their own. However, recently, we've come full circle, as we’re now getting a lot of work for graduates, which is what I had intended from the beginning.

Even though we train people to know everything they need to know to run a successful coaching business on their own, my current goal is still the same as my original goal - to work directly with hundreds of iPEC coaches as partners; to share, grow, and lead people to greatness and higher consciousness… in the process.

Memorial Day, a time to remember the past and look forward to the future.

These days, I'm wondering how many people actually know the meaning behind Memorial Day. Perhaps to some, the significance of it is that they get a day off from work. But the day has deep meaning in remembering the efforts of the veterans who fought for a cause so that we can live the way we choose.

Would you die for the cause you believe in? By choice or by draft, many have, and we really need to thank them for fighting for the cause of freedom. But what else? Is the purpose of this holiday limited to remembering and honoring the past? I don't believe so. I think that we can all look at our "causes," the things we believe in with heart and soul, and see these past heroes as a reminder to move forward, even in the face of danger.

The path to the future isn't already paved for you in the forest; it's often painstakingly carved out by each of us, one step at a time. Unlike our veterans, perhaps you don't have to risk your life to create one worth living, but then again, without taking positive action to create the life you want, you'll probably just follow someone else's path at best, or sit around and wait for a fulfilling life to come to you.

This Memorial Day offers you the opportunity to reflect, and also to proactively step forward towards the life you want. We are all soldiers in life, and to create the future you desire, it takes soldiering: with passion, courage, and fortitude.

Bad Mood? Great Opportunity!

Someone wrote me this week to ask me how he could get out of a bad mood. First of all, it’s important to recognize that “good” and “bad” are judgments, and that, in fact, all of life’s experiences are valuable and offer us insights and lessons.

So next time you’re in a “bad” mood, try “owning” the discontent, meaning, be OK with the way you're feeling and don’t have the need to change it right away. Feelings are our creation, and our choice. When you realize that you chose to be upset, then you can live with that decision until you are ready to choose something else.

Ask yourself what caused your mood, and explore what you can learn from it.

Then, once you are ready, realize what you are gaining from being upset is not worth the cost, and so, either speak about your upset with someone, or write a journal entry about it, or choose another way of processing that helps you put it behind you and move on.

Myth about Coaching: Coaches Give You Advice

There are a lot of people out there calling themselves coaches, and delivering something other than coaching to their clients. This is unfortunate, but expected in a new profession. While coaching is well established, it's still only about fifteen years or so old, and so, there is a lot of variation. Fortunately, all coaching works to some degree. Unfortunately, most coaching doesn't work as well as it could.

There are many reasons why Core Energy Coaching is a truly transformational solution-focused approach to assisting clients, but perhaps none more important than this: Core Energy Coaches do not give advice! Think about this - when you tell someone what to do, one of four things will happen.

1) They listen to your advice and it works out. When this happens, they give you credit for their success and become dependent on you and others in the future.

2) They listen to your advice and it doesn't work out. In this case, they blame you, and they don't learn.

3) They don't listen to your advice and do something else that works out. Great for them, but what about your value as a coach; down the drain.

4) They don't listen to you and they still struggle. No one wins. By the way, there is nothing more frustrating than feeling like you know how to help someone, and instead of allowing you to help, they continue suffering.

So how can you help people in the most effective way without giving advice? First, trust that the person you’re speaking with knows the answer.. Your job is to get it out. That's not an easy job, actually, and if it were, everyone would be able to do it. In fact, you need hundreds of hours of coaching training to be able to do that well. But once you master the process, you're in for a totally empowering experience for your clients, as well as for you. There's nothing more fulfilling than to partner with someone to see them create their own solutions - solutions that allow them to thrive.

You can learn the power of the Core Energy Process in the Life Potentials Training, found on iPEC's website at www.iPECcoaching.com, and, if you're ready to make a tremendous difference in your life and others, you can consider continuing on from the Life Potentials Training to the rest of iPEC's accredited coach training program.

Motivating Your Boss... Kind of!!!

So many people don’t like the job that they have, and believe that their work environment isn’t what they’d like it to be.  Recently, the daughter of a friend of mine asked me to give her some advice for how to make a good impression at her new job.   As those of you know me realize, I always like a good joke – or a bad one – so I wrote this top 10 list for her on ways NOT to behave at work. 

Do you see yourself in any of these statements? If so, realize what energy are your bringing to your workplace environment, and that when you change your own actions and attitudes, you can change your work environment – all by yourself.  And so...

The Top 10 Ways to Motivate Your Boss So Much...
That He Fires You.

10) Come in just a few minutes late each day. Not just your boss, but all your co-workers will appreciate your doing that.

9) Make sure you use all your personal days in the first quarter.

8) When asked to do something different from the norm, have your job description ready and say "Hey, show me where I'm supposed to do that!"

7) Take your vacation at the busiest time of the year for the company. If they won't give you the time off, take it anyway.

6) Have your monitor face you, so that when people enter your office they look at you, and not the computer games you're playing.

5) Keep your desk as cluttered as possible. It makes you look busy and bosses love looking at piles of work.

4) Snub all the new hires; they need to earn you as a friend, and make sure you let them know that.

3) Tell your customers how lousy it is where you work. If possible, throw in a derogatory statement or two about your boss.

2) Gossip, gossip, gossip.

And the top way to impress your boss so much that he'll fire you is...

1) Make sure you ask for a raise as often as possible, but only after you found out what others in the company are making so you can use that information to your advantage.

Be in the Moment and the "Now"

Someone wrote me this week to ask a question about being in the moment and focusing on the now. This person wanted to know what that really is, and how to get there. Since it was such a great and timely question, I thought I’d share my response…

When I first began coaching, I sometimes enjoyed playing a little game. With each new client, I mentally assessed how present they were in the coaching session. I could assess this rather easily by either watching or listening to them, and noticing where their focus was when I spoke, and of course, how they answered my questions. It became quite apparent to me that whatever level of "presence" showed up for their coaching session was the same level of presence in their life. In fact, I don't think I ever first worked with someone who was actually living in the now.

Most people are either worried about the future or regretting the past, and so, not here, now. Presence in the moment is tricky. Many people would say that it means focusing on what's happening at that moment, and being at full concentration. I don't think so. Someone can be focusing on the moment, but interpreting that moment from their past experiences or fears, in which case they are actually not in the moment but instead, they are allowing the past to be present with them.

So truly being present now doesn't require concentration, effort, or focus. It requires a level of consciousness that has released the past and cleared the worries of the future. Understand that what I just wrote was a short paragraph with a tall order; being conscious to the point that you are truly here and in the moment is a lifetime journey. We never actually get "there," but we can work to improve our "beingness."

I don't want to make this a commercial, but you asked, and so I'll tell you that raising consciousness, one person at a time is iPEC's mission, and besides our full coach training program, you may want to look into the Life Potentials Training, as well as our Self-Mastery coaching program called the Law of Being. Info about these can be found on our website at www.ipeccoaching.com.

If you have a question – whether it be about coach training, consciousness, human potential, or even what I think of the Mets this season, I invite you to ask me, comment here, or by emailing me at bruce@ipeccoaching.com.

Perhaps the Most Important Coaching Skill for Life...

If it's not the most important aspect of communication, listening certainly comes close. We all know how to speak, but few know how to really listen. Deep listening is at the heart of the Core Energy Coaching process, and it's a skill that really takes some knowledge, practice, and time to master. Without proper training, I've found that most people don't listen well, if at all. If they aren't speaking, then when someone else is talking, they are just thinking about what they are going to say next and waiting for an opening.

Just think about what it would do for you if you were a master at listening. For one thing, you'd learn a lot. I always say that I learn a lot more when someone other than me is talking! Also, when someone feels heard by you, the connection will deepen, and you will become a better leader, partner, spouse, friend, or parent.

And, how would you like for someone to really listen to you?  To hear what you’re saying and understand more about who you are?  I’m sure you’ve heard that one of the best ways to see change in others is to model that change yourself.  Well, that’s what this is about. You learn to listen, and then those you listen to will listen to you.

Our Life Potentials Training and Coaching Training programs provide a ton of skills, theories, and processes. But the most important thing we teach is that the most essential coaching skill for effective communication, and perhaps for life, is the ability to listen, deeply.

Start today by focusing on being fully present when someone is speaking, and clearing your mind of distracting thoughts.  You’ll be surprised at what you hear. 

Try it – and I’d love to hear your experiences.  Share them by posting a comment here. I promise, I’ll listen!