Bruce D Schneider's Blog

Need a Vacation?

I hope not. If you need a vacation then that means you’re tired, burned out, or overly stressed. Vacations should be something that brings you fun and change, not something that you need to decompress. In other words, you should want a vacation, but not need a vacation.

I just got back from Mexico. I had a wonderful time, and realized that many of the people there were in the same environment as I was, but in a different place, mentally. They NEEDED their vacation and needed it badly. It took them days to even begin to enjoy themselves, and I suspect that when they return to work, they’ll either say that their vacation wasn’t long enough, or, after a day or two of work, that they need another one.

If you don’t love what you do, then you will constantly be looking for ways to avoid doing it. If this is you, work with a coach to help you remove your stressors and fully enjoy your job. That way, when you go on vacation, you’ll enjoy it more thoroughly, and at the end of it maybe even look forward to getting back to work!

Conscious Choice: True Freedom and the Power it Holds

The subject of freedom seems to be an appropriate one for this Fourth of July holiday. After all, the freedom to make choices is one of the things that the founders of this country had in mind when they drafted the Declaration of Independence.  We are very fortunate indeed to live in a nation dedicated to maintaining our rights of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

One of iPEC’s foundation principles states that “The greatest freedom is the freedom of choice.”  There is a great deal of power in knowing that you always have a choice – but most people don’t recognize all the options that they have. As coaches, we give the gift of freedom to others when we help them learn to make conscious choices – choices that are made without fear, doubt, and other catabolic energy.

This July 4th, take a moment to express your gratitude that you live in a country that allows you the freedom, and the right, to choose how you want to experience your life.

PS> Join us on July 17th in New York for the Power of Choice -- a transformational workshop that reveals the 7 Levels of Energy and exactly how they impact your choices! 

Living Like a King

Someone recently gave me a book about Eddie Feigner, who is known as the “King,” from the famous softball team, “The King and His Court.” Feigner was a great athlete, and his “Court” consisted of him as pitcher, and only 4 other players. They would consistently beat full teams of players and were quite entertaining in the process.

The book was not particularly well-written, and yet, for me, something about it was very emotional. This is the story of a boy who was given up for adoption at birth, and who struggled to make ends meet throughout his entire life. Ironically, he was at the top of his profession, but compared to baseball and other sports, fast-pitch softball wasn’t really recognized as equal to the others, and so, he received very little notoriety, even after he mastered his gift.

So in reading his story, it occurred to me that life’s masters are not just those who earn a great deal of money or recognition. And probably more often than not, they themselves don’t even recognize their full achievement and impact on others.

I saw the King and His Court in the 90’s. Eddie was in his 70’s, I think, and obviously past his prime. However, he still threw the ball nearly 100 miles per hour, and blew away all those who tried to hit against him. Eddie passed away a few years ago, leaving records that will probably remain unsurpassed. But most important to me was that he left me with the memory of someone who walked the talk and excelled in greatness. He didn’t just pitch. He was THE pitcher.

So whatever you do, do it with all you have, and regardless of what the masses think, let your actions be your success. Rest peacefully, Eddie.

Parents as Coaches

There are many differences between a parent armed with coaching skills vs. one who’s not. I’ll focus on three for now.

1)     Parents who know how to coach can communicate clearly with their children, that is, they can make sure that everyone is totally clear about what is being discussed, and what actions each person will take. Good communication skills also help parents avoid the “What did you do in school today?” – “Nothing” conversations so typical in many households.

2)     Parents can coach children through the disciplinary process, getting a buy-in on being responsible for their actions. Then, if the child breaks the agreed upon rules, parents can OBJECTIVELY respond, instead of emotionally react. This takes a lot of skill, but parents who learn the iPEC coaching process, even if it’s only from our initial Life Potentials Training, are well-equipped to be seen as the people responsible for enforcing an agreement, instead of being seen as parents who don’t care, are mean, and are policing their children.

3)     A third benefit of learning how to coach would be to help older children (at any age), develop strong plans for college, business, relationships, finance, and more. Coaching works well in families that do it well, and the results are extraordinary. Nothing brings parents a greater level of satisfaction than helping their children create plans that lead to success. And by doing it with the coach approach, those plans have more chance for success than with any other approach.

Again, that’s just three examples of many about why it’s beneficial for parents to develop not only coaching skills, but a coaching frame of mind.

Why did you create iPEC?

People often ask me why I founded the iPEC organization, and my answer usually surprises them, as I had no intention of creating a coaching school. In fact, all I wanted was a group of coaches to help me continue my mission of raising world consciousness, one person at a time.

Like many entrepreneurs, I knew that I couldn’t and shouldn't try to do everything and be everything to everyone. I knew that I had an amazing coaching process (the Core Energy Coaching process), that was getting tremendous success for clients, much better than the successes I was able to help people get through therapy, consulting, or mentoring. It took me decades to create the Core Energy Coaching process, and knowing that I had something very, very special, I wanted to expand it, and yet, I was only one person.

So my idea was to send prospective coaches to, at that time, one of the few coach training programs available, and then, I'd add my process to the "basics" and move forward with my dream team--a powerful coaching group.

To make a very long story short, all my research told me none of the existing training programs met my standards. Those school's "basics" were not nearly enough, and so even though I originally planned to augment an existing training for those I wanted to become part of my team, I soon realized that 90% of what I wanted them to learn was missing. So I decided to formalize my system and create iPEC as a coach training program. That was about 10 years ago, and, as most people now know, iPEC is recognized as one of, if not, the world's most prestigious coaching programs.

iPEC took on a life of its own and exploded around the country, not really allowing me the time to develop the group I wanted. Since graduating thousands of coaches, my initial dream has come as least partially true, though, as so many gifted people from all walks of life are now using the Core Energy Coaching process to share their unique gifts and make a huge difference in the world on their own. However, recently, we've come full circle, as we’re now getting a lot of work for graduates, which is what I had intended from the beginning.

Even though we train people to know everything they need to know to run a successful coaching business on their own, my current goal is still the same as my original goal - to work directly with hundreds of iPEC coaches as partners; to share, grow, and lead people to greatness and higher consciousness… in the process.

Memorial Day, a time to remember the past and look forward to the future.

These days, I'm wondering how many people actually know the meaning behind Memorial Day. Perhaps to some, the significance of it is that they get a day off from work. But the day has deep meaning in remembering the efforts of the veterans who fought for a cause so that we can live the way we choose.

Would you die for the cause you believe in? By choice or by draft, many have, and we really need to thank them for fighting for the cause of freedom. But what else? Is the purpose of this holiday limited to remembering and honoring the past? I don't believe so. I think that we can all look at our "causes," the things we believe in with heart and soul, and see these past heroes as a reminder to move forward, even in the face of danger.

The path to the future isn't already paved for you in the forest; it's often painstakingly carved out by each of us, one step at a time. Unlike our veterans, perhaps you don't have to risk your life to create one worth living, but then again, without taking positive action to create the life you want, you'll probably just follow someone else's path at best, or sit around and wait for a fulfilling life to come to you.

This Memorial Day offers you the opportunity to reflect, and also to proactively step forward towards the life you want. We are all soldiers in life, and to create the future you desire, it takes soldiering: with passion, courage, and fortitude.

Bad Mood? Great Opportunity!

Someone wrote me this week to ask me how he could get out of a bad mood. First of all, it’s important to recognize that “good” and “bad” are judgments, and that, in fact, all of life’s experiences are valuable and offer us insights and lessons.

So next time you’re in a “bad” mood, try “owning” the discontent, meaning, be OK with the way you're feeling and don’t have the need to change it right away. Feelings are our creation, and our choice. When you realize that you chose to be upset, then you can live with that decision until you are ready to choose something else.

Ask yourself what caused your mood, and explore what you can learn from it.

Then, once you are ready, realize what you are gaining from being upset is not worth the cost, and so, either speak about your upset with someone, or write a journal entry about it, or choose another way of processing that helps you put it behind you and move on.

Be in the Moment and the "Now"

Someone wrote me this week to ask a question about being in the moment and focusing on the now. This person wanted to know what that really is, and how to get there. Since it was such a great and timely question, I thought I’d share my response…

When I first began coaching, I sometimes enjoyed playing a little game. With each new client, I mentally assessed how present they were in the coaching session. I could assess this rather easily by either watching or listening to them, and noticing where their focus was when I spoke, and of course, how they answered my questions. It became quite apparent to me that whatever level of "presence" showed up for their coaching session was the same level of presence in their life. In fact, I don't think I ever first worked with someone who was actually living in the now.

Most people are either worried about the future or regretting the past, and so, not here, now. Presence in the moment is tricky. Many people would say that it means focusing on what's happening at that moment, and being at full concentration. I don't think so. Someone can be focusing on the moment, but interpreting that moment from their past experiences or fears, in which case they are actually not in the moment but instead, they are allowing the past to be present with them.

So truly being present now doesn't require concentration, effort, or focus. It requires a level of consciousness that has released the past and cleared the worries of the future. Understand that what I just wrote was a short paragraph with a tall order; being conscious to the point that you are truly here and in the moment is a lifetime journey. We never actually get "there," but we can work to improve our "beingness."

I don't want to make this a commercial, but you asked, and so I'll tell you that raising consciousness, one person at a time is iPEC's mission, and besides our full coach training program, you may want to look into the Life Potentials Training, as well as our Self-Mastery coaching program called the Law of Being. Info about these can be found on our website at www.ipeccoaching.com.

If you have a question – whether it be about coach training, consciousness, human potential, or even what I think of the Mets this season, I invite you to ask me, comment here, or by emailing me at bruce@ipeccoaching.com.

Perhaps the Most Important Coaching Skill for Life...

If it's not the most important aspect of communication, listening certainly comes close. We all know how to speak, but few know how to really listen. Deep listening is at the heart of the Core Energy Coaching process, and it's a skill that really takes some knowledge, practice, and time to master. Without proper training, I've found that most people don't listen well, if at all. If they aren't speaking, then when someone else is talking, they are just thinking about what they are going to say next and waiting for an opening.

Just think about what it would do for you if you were a master at listening. For one thing, you'd learn a lot. I always say that I learn a lot more when someone other than me is talking! Also, when someone feels heard by you, the connection will deepen, and you will become a better leader, partner, spouse, friend, or parent.

And, how would you like for someone to really listen to you?  To hear what you’re saying and understand more about who you are?  I’m sure you’ve heard that one of the best ways to see change in others is to model that change yourself.  Well, that’s what this is about. You learn to listen, and then those you listen to will listen to you.

Our Life Potentials Training and Coaching Training programs provide a ton of skills, theories, and processes. But the most important thing we teach is that the most essential coaching skill for effective communication, and perhaps for life, is the ability to listen, deeply.

Start today by focusing on being fully present when someone is speaking, and clearing your mind of distracting thoughts.  You’ll be surprised at what you hear. 

Try it – and I’d love to hear your experiences.  Share them by posting a comment here. I promise, I’ll listen!

"I Am the River" Inspirational Video -- a Must See

Debuted as part of iPEC's new Life Potentials Training, "I Am the River" is an inspirational video that shows that we all have a choice as to how we approach life. Watch, be inspired, remember who you truly are, and don't wait to bring your potential to life.

At one time or another, we each wonder who we really are. This video will help you remember.

Click here to view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8YrhfAXC64